Facebook Battles

Lately, I feel as if I’m channeling Ward Cleaver. I get home after a stressful day at work, sit down at the kitchen counter, pour myself a glass of wine, read the paper and ignore the familial chaos surrounding me.

But every now and then, one of these moments.

Beloved Bride: “Honey, did you know that our son has a girl he likes?” “Her name is Lindsay”.

Me, lowering my newspaper: “‘Son, look at you there blushing. What is she like?”

Beloved Bride: “She’s got a beautiful smile, a real pretty young lady”.

Son in an agitated voice:”How do you know what she looks like?!

Beloved Bride: “I saw her photograph on your Facebook page.”

Son: “What? You’ve been stalking?! That does it. I’m de-friending you”

Beloved Bride, in an admonishing voice: “Don’t you dare!”

Son, tapping furiously on his iPad: “Too late. It’s done. We are no longer Facebook friends.”

Beloved Bride: “Young man, you make me your friend again right now or else!”

Son: “Or else what? I’m too big for you to do anything to me.”

Beloved Bride stammering: “I’ll, I’ll, I’ll….de-chef you!”

Son: “What? What the heck does that mean?”

Beloved Bride: “That’s it! If you don’t friend me, I will no longer cook for you.”

Son, in a plaintive voice: “Wait you can’t do that! You have to feed me. You’re my mother.”


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5 responses to “Facebook Battles

  1. janice robinson

    Liz, Did that work?

  2. Your son obviously has not spoken to my daughter. The gentle way of keeping parents out of their space is to block them. We’re not defriended, which obviously has the harsh connotation of exclusion, etc. We just can’t see anything that goes on on their wall/page. Ask me how I know.

  3. Aileen

    Mike…I have been friended and defriended by my lovely son for supposed stalker behavior so many times! It has become his favorite bargaining chip. Once I beat him to the punch and just defriended myself… He was so hurt! Love being a 2012 parent. I couldn’t imagine defriending my parents!

  4. Pam

    That’s hilarious! Can totally relate to that one! In fact, when my son was in high school and did anything that I didn’t like, all I had to do was threaten to not make his lunch for the rest of the week and I had eating out of my hand. (no pun intended). 🙂
    Moms, use that powerful chef card! It works (on sons, anyway…. not sure it would have the same impact on daughters, however)….

  5. Dick Dillon

    I believe #2 Son may have a point of law on his side. Great Mike.

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